Mile High Fantasies

As I make my way through the metal tube that is Delta Flight 6446 I am already a bit delirious as I am now in hour eleven of this silly little waste of a day that started with a 4am wake up call.
It was not a good weekend financially for The Ticket Guy at the Newport Folk Festival, my 6am direct flight from Providence to Atlanta was cancelled and I am in desperate need of something to remind me why I work so hard.
As I approach my seat in the back of the plane for a moment I think I see the light...and the light is quickly extinguished when I realize the sexy little thing curled up in the seat next to mine is probably only 15 years old.
As I strap myself to my personal "can be used as a floatation device in the case of emergency" thing the first thought that enters my head is that I would really like to just reach over and start fondling my new neighbor without abandon.
Before you come to the conclusion that I am a child molester let me point out that at least once a week I also say to myself that I want to kill another human being (the same stupid people we all want to kill on a daily basis) and that does not make me a killer.
Yes, I am a pervert, ask any woman I have dated but I am fully aware of right from wrong and now besides being tired, grumpy and bored I am feeling guilty that I had the thought to molest some mans underage daughter because I am uninspired by my life in this moment.
Bottom line, no one has to worry that I will be showing up at their house naked with a four pack of Bartles and James looking for Lolita and ready to have a heart to heart talk with Chris Hansen.
I quickly focus my pervetic energy in a different direction, towards the flight attendants. The younger one is prettier and leaner but I quickly surmise that I would be too tired to do anything with her in my fantasies after all the effort it would take to remove that stick lodged solidly up her ass.
The older and wider attendant stops to make conversation with me based on the baseball cap I am wearing so just as any heterosexual man would deduct from this action I decide...she wants me!
This is not polite conversation just to pass the time...she wants me!
I can now relax. The 15 year old is forgotten and my mind has something to occupy it until we touch down in Atlanta.
My mind wanders with thoughts of a hotel room near the airport paid by Delta with my new fantasy drink-serving friend. Life is good.
Then it happens, a moment that will change my life forever...well, at least until the plane lands.
Beverage service. I order a diet coke...got to watch my figure...the 15 year old orders a beer.
A BEER!
Not only is she not 15, she is at least 21. She shows my soon forgotten friend and waitress in the sky her ID and I quickly return my sexual psychic energy to the creature living and breathing next to me.
The police can still arrest me with various charges if I act out on my thoughts but it will not be for anything that involves the word minor or child.
At this moment I really wish that I had Internet access. I am curious as to how much time I could possibly spend in jail if I follow up on my original idea of full contact groping and fondling. And would this be like an act of terrorism to the other passengers, would they band together to take me out?
Then she suddenly goes too far!
After finishing her suds she decides that she will torture me with one of the most erotic acts she could realistically perform for me per airplane etiquette by taking off her sweatshirt. This act reveals a pair of the most lovely and larger than I imagined set of pleasure principles with only a wifebeater and bra coming between them and me.
I decide at this point she is either a tease or simply naive. It does not matter, I admire her for either quality.
I have to take a moment to check that my mouth is not wide open and to calm my breathing and heart rate down a bit. I plan on dying by a massive heart attack while naked with a barely legal woman mounted on top of me but when I think of my death I am 84 years old. I am too young to die...and Delta would probably lose my body.
I wish that I could end this story with something more exciting. I control my actions with fear for the rest of the flight. Reality and a mild depression always sets in at some point when you fantasize about things you know you will never actually happen. In my other life I have the balls to do crazy stuff that I often imagine. Who knows, in my other life, maybe she even likes it when I start to fondle her and I do not even have go to jail. But I personally will never have the balls to do these things. That is probably best for me.
The plane lands, I gather my things and head home. I may not have any balls but I do have a hand and a fertile imagination and because of that my little Delta girlfriend will have the opportunity to spend some quality time with me once I get home.

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